White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan
Okay, I've thought long and hard about the rest of my Top 10 list, and I've hit a wall. This says more about my lack of diligence in keeping up with new music than it does about the state of the music being released, fo sho. For inspiration, I visited some other Top 10 lists. And learned a few things about them. Mostly that everybody loves the White Stripes.
Look, I've enjoyed a jam by the Stripes now and again. The problem is, I can't listen long before I get a creepy picture of Jack White in my head in his "I've Amalgamated Every Movie Role That Johnny Depp has Played Into a Seamless Visual Aesthetic Aren't I Clever?" appearance. Ahem. Our boy loves him some Johnny Depp. Loves him so much that he traveled the well-worth path into Winona's arms, in what one can assume, in retrospect, was an homage to his hero. Seriously, he has contrived a look for himself with hints of pretty much every character Depp ever portrayed. Which just manages to be creepier than the all red n' white wardrobe thing. A look that was equally stupid, but-hey-turned out to be an extremely effective branding technique, which grew more acceptable with time since they were consistent. In fact, it took awhile before it was obvious that our sneaky frontman introduced a random black item into the picture. Was it a guitar strap? A hat? A pair of trousers? I'll bet money Meg wanted to make that move first, because black is slimming...but Jack's gotta be Jack. He sets the rules, he calls the shots.
And what IS the deal with Meg White? Totally unqualified Pysch 101 analysis suggests she stuck around post-divorce because she couldn't let go of the dynamic Mr. White, but told her family and friends it was "for the band" to save face. A decision which actually turned out to be a good gamble on her part for the career, but must've been murder on her heart. Jack sure has gotten the rock star thing down. In that respect, he must enjoy the unchallenging presence of Meg. She supports him with her modesty and the way she deflects all the attention to him. She shows up with the vacant eyes and placid expression, and doesn't even flinch at the mention of his recent marriage to a model. She probably tells herself she avoids the spotlight because she is shy. She lets him be the star because she doesn't think she's worthy. Maybe it's no accident that she looks pretty much exactly the way she has since they first burst onto the scene. She's afraid to change for some reason. Perhaps because he might throw a tantrum if she looked better than he did?
Or maybe she is shy and just finds it easier to maintain privacy by letting him hog the spotlight? Indeed, maybe she looks the same on stage and in all publicity shots so that on the weekends, she can wear jeans and a white tank top and flip flops and her hair in a ponytail, with some bronzer on her cheeks and a pair of oversized Jackie O. sunglasses while she takes her dog to the park or dips into Jamba Juice for a smoothie. Perhaps I should mind my own damn business and spend less time guessing what's eating Gilbert Grape...and more time dealing with the pressing issue of putting together a credible Top 10 list...
Either way, for fun, one should take a moment to imagine Meg White angrily stabbing a movie still from Don Juan De Marco with a diamond and ruby encrusted letter opener when no one's looking.
Okay, I've thought long and hard about the rest of my Top 10 list, and I've hit a wall. This says more about my lack of diligence in keeping up with new music than it does about the state of the music being released, fo sho. For inspiration, I visited some other Top 10 lists. And learned a few things about them. Mostly that everybody loves the White Stripes.
Look, I've enjoyed a jam by the Stripes now and again. The problem is, I can't listen long before I get a creepy picture of Jack White in my head in his "I've Amalgamated Every Movie Role That Johnny Depp has Played Into a Seamless Visual Aesthetic Aren't I Clever?" appearance. Ahem. Our boy loves him some Johnny Depp. Loves him so much that he traveled the well-worth path into Winona's arms, in what one can assume, in retrospect, was an homage to his hero. Seriously, he has contrived a look for himself with hints of pretty much every character Depp ever portrayed. Which just manages to be creepier than the all red n' white wardrobe thing. A look that was equally stupid, but-hey-turned out to be an extremely effective branding technique, which grew more acceptable with time since they were consistent. In fact, it took awhile before it was obvious that our sneaky frontman introduced a random black item into the picture. Was it a guitar strap? A hat? A pair of trousers? I'll bet money Meg wanted to make that move first, because black is slimming...but Jack's gotta be Jack. He sets the rules, he calls the shots.
And what IS the deal with Meg White? Totally unqualified Pysch 101 analysis suggests she stuck around post-divorce because she couldn't let go of the dynamic Mr. White, but told her family and friends it was "for the band" to save face. A decision which actually turned out to be a good gamble on her part for the career, but must've been murder on her heart. Jack sure has gotten the rock star thing down. In that respect, he must enjoy the unchallenging presence of Meg. She supports him with her modesty and the way she deflects all the attention to him. She shows up with the vacant eyes and placid expression, and doesn't even flinch at the mention of his recent marriage to a model. She probably tells herself she avoids the spotlight because she is shy. She lets him be the star because she doesn't think she's worthy. Maybe it's no accident that she looks pretty much exactly the way she has since they first burst onto the scene. She's afraid to change for some reason. Perhaps because he might throw a tantrum if she looked better than he did?
Or maybe she is shy and just finds it easier to maintain privacy by letting him hog the spotlight? Indeed, maybe she looks the same on stage and in all publicity shots so that on the weekends, she can wear jeans and a white tank top and flip flops and her hair in a ponytail, with some bronzer on her cheeks and a pair of oversized Jackie O. sunglasses while she takes her dog to the park or dips into Jamba Juice for a smoothie. Perhaps I should mind my own damn business and spend less time guessing what's eating Gilbert Grape...and more time dealing with the pressing issue of putting together a credible Top 10 list...
Either way, for fun, one should take a moment to imagine Meg White angrily stabbing a movie still from Don Juan De Marco with a diamond and ruby encrusted letter opener when no one's looking.
posted by Julianne Gorman at 9:44 AM
